surrounded by emptiness

What the fuck is wrong with the world? Sometimes I keep having weird thoughts inside my mind, ok like these past few days. Maybe George, my imaginary friend, is abso-fucking-lutely right about the confinement of freedom. Yeah, it sounds seriously seriously paradoxical/ironic whatever. “Nothing was your own except the few cubic centrimetres inside your skull”. Ok maybe something is wrong with me then. Omg, I really hate these kinds of emo entries that are so seriously attention-seeking and primaryschool-ish. But I’ll pardon myself once in a blue moon to let my EMOTION flow. Flow like a river in the spring, sail like a boat on a lazy cool summer afternoon. OMG cant believe that I just typed that but if that helps bring some orginality, I won’t mind. Quite nervous for the stupid english test because I have no idea how to prepare for it.

Anyway, the main purpose of writing this entry is to celebrate my  Vaio’s resurrection. That is a big word for an unanimated object but I think without it, I don’t know where to find my sanctuary. Maybe reminiscing about the past is such a bad idea after reading such a bleak portrait bout the futuristic world. Maybe harbouring hard feelings is also such a fucking bad idea. Though there’re times I try to forgive, not forget. But but something must have stopped me and I can’t go on any further. Should I seek help from self-improvement books although I think it’s such a loser’s act to find help and cry your hearts out on some stupid people’s business-oriented writings that seem so appealing and promising to uplift your mood when you’re like having the worst hang-over of your entire fucking life. Ok, totally ban the idea of self-improvement books. Anyway, maybe this is related or not to the topic of stupid books. When I was in sec 2 or so, I really liked reading chicken soup series. But after the one with animals and teenagers, I found it to be so seriously cheesy and cliche’d and so surreal which also implied that it was so a fucking LIE. Couldn’t believe those heart-wrenching stories now. I mean omg the possibility of your pets managing to find their way home after being lost in a farway land after 3 years. I mean I didnt expect them to have that special power memory of how your croth smells like after that long period. I always find dogs love to lick their owners’ crotches. Sorry it sounds disgusting but true. Maybe my observations are not extensive enough.

Talking bout dogs, omfg. There’s this movie St.Trinian that is so fucking hilarious that I kept laughing. I love Brits for their witt sense of humour. They always have class in poking fun at everyone under the planet including freaks, midgets, trannies, typical perfectionists, sluts, the list is endlesss, without making themselves appear to be a total big bitch. The movie really made me laugh till I could feel a burning sensation at my abdomen. Omg, maybe the movie burnt some of my fats that I’ve been accumulating over the past few months and if I keep watching Little Britain, I’ll have abs in no time without sweating a single droplet of sweat and panting like a mad dog under a 100 degree afternoon.

Jokes aside, back to the emo topic. I don’t even know where to start right now because there’re so many things on my mind right now and American Idol is coming to an end. Hope David Archuletta would win because he’d represent a young generation ( including me) who is so talented and able to inspire and appears to be humble at all time. And such a disappointment with Desperate Housewives, this season is like the best and it ends within 16 episodes. Marc Cherry runs out of ideas, doesn’t he? Maybe I could lend my hand. And hahaha, imagine Gabrielle Solis needs to support her husband who is blind, thus the need of becoming a high-class callgirl arises or shall I say, social escort? And Bree turns lesbian. hahaha

Seriously back to emo topic. Sometimes I havent had a clue about my ownself. And yeah, some stupid moron said, ” You’re always somewhat a pure enigma”. It’s not a positive comment. Fuck, I dont really take people’s comments seriously. But this one has been on my mind over the past 48 hours or so. And haha, people, who’re educated of course, say that love is an elusive enigma too. And love sometimes can be the greatest thing that you can ever find on this planet called Earth. But it can also bring some earth-shattering impact on you if the love turns sour. But sour things can be good sometimes though because everything can’t be perfect right. And not everything sour is spoilt and rotten also. An example will be yogurt. So enigma can be both a bad and a good thing which also means that I can be a good and bad person at the same time. Wait that means I have two personalities, don’t I? I can be good at times and also bad at times. That means I’m experiencing split personalities which the last time I checked, it can be understood that I’m schizophrenic. Fuck fuck fuck. Nevermind.. I have other greater stuffs to ponder over right now.

Back to emo topic. Maybe writing and scribbling and blabbering and singing in front of the revived Vaio at moderate volume  at 4.30 in the morning compared to my papa’s snoring does really help after all. And for the record I’m at page 239 of Nineteen eighty-four, second round. Why do Iusually like dead people’s work? I mean after Sidney Sheldon, now is George Owell. Hurray I’m not emo anymore and want to upload some pictures in case my stupid Vaoi decides to commit suicide by plunging a knife into its anus and dies without whispering a proper auld lang syne.

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Omg, just realise that I m not emo anymore. Rise and shine. Time check is 4.55 and I really got to sleep because eye bags and dark circles are bad for photo shoots. What if I got discovered by some agencies. OK seriously gotta stop. GO way too far with my imagination. Till then, TATA.

 havent jo for one week, wohoo.this is a secret and only for me to know. wohoo. wohoo.