surrounded by emptiness

Why me why me why me why me? I’m going to miss running downstairs to bite half of an apple and put it back to the fridge. I know Singapore is like 2km away from my place. But the thought of leaving my messy room again really makes me cry. Kidding bout the crying part!!!! And I know school won’t be starting till August but it’s around the corner . Ok, I guess I’ll sign up a membership card with budget airlines as I think I’ll be travelling home on a high frequency.

Anyway, this post was drafted way back on my birthday. Because I really felt the urgency of doing some productive typing before my brain goes numb. My resolutions are seriously countless, starting from the most important. I tell you what, the list will all be completed by the time I reach 25. No no, maybe 28. I want to finish every single resolution. And I’m determined to do it. I’m a very determined person in case I forget to tell myself at times.

1. I’ll study really properly this time round. I won’t give chance anymore.
2. Exercise to lose all my fats and build the mass. Say bye to fats and hi to mass!!!
3. Be 10000x nicer to people around me, even to strangers. I’ve been experiencing bad karma
4. Get a driver license.
5. Try my bestest to work whenever I can.
6. Set aside certain amount of money for travelling purposes.
7. Be more active and outdoors instead of rotting in front of this ungrateful Vaio while scratching every part of my body as and when I feel like.
8. Read all the books that I think I should before I die.
9. Not to spend any single dollar on unnecessary things again. Learn from MISTAKES.
10. Lose my virginity, really. This is a non-laughing matter.
11. Again, go swimming or working out and whatver sports whenever I can. I must lose my fucking elephants’ thighs by the end of this year. Sometimes I feel my body is not functioning properly. If all the meat and fats from my thighs and stomach go up to my arms, I’ll be more than happy.
12. Not to be judgemental towards anyone or anything. Bad karma.
13. Drink 3 litres of water everyday and have real fruits instead of fruit juices.
14. Not to spend time daydreaming and sleeping more than needed. You snooze, you loose.
15. Travel around.
16. Have all the right food because your skin is damn gross now. Nobody wants to talk to you when all they can concentrate are the ancnes and blackheads and whiteheads and clogged pores and whatnots all clustered on your face.
17. Be nice to people whom you hate.
18. Be more active in terms of group work.
19. Liposuction??? I cant stop but wanting to have abs right now. Do at least 1000 sit-ups before getting off from bed may do the job.
20. Not to throw things when I’m fuming with wrath anymore. Seriously, I’ve spoilt 2 remote controls already.
21. Love my wallet more which means not to open it as often as it used to be. Should I get another wallet? LV, will you ever have a sale for fuck’s sake? You’re the love of my life.
22. Stop being so so so so brand-conscious and effing materialistic. It is only justifiable when you work and slurge using your paycheck or there is a 70% sale-off.
23. Ride roller coaster again. I miss the adrenaline rush. And I want to try the space shot.
24. Learning to dive if I can afford. And kickboxing to release all my pent-up frustration and unresolved childhood anger.
25. Seriously, totally not kidding about shopping and spending unnecessarily. You’ve got be more financially responsible, KID!
26. Cherish every day as a gift.
27. Apply for a spot at my holy grail.
28. Seriously about the bad skin, it’s time to fucking take care of your face again. No more fried food for the rest of my life.
29. Not to lose faith in myself.
30. Not buying GQs anymore. It’s seriously a waste of money and a reason for you to spend. Damn consumerism!!!!
31. Not to be angry over fibs.
32. Pray more often.

Phewwww. What a hell load of resolutions. But I’m damn serious about the studies and exercise plan. It also means I need to get a pair of running shoes and all the appropriate gym outfits. Who the fuck spends 400 bucks on LV gym set which include bath towel, face towel, hand towel, leg towel?? LV will be my number one foe for now. Seriously, financing management. Seriously, shopstinence is the key man. And I will also try to save up for another pair of spectacles also. The old one is olive green which I don’t like anymore. I’ll eat lots of veggies everyday and lean meat as well. Damn serious about working out. I can’t bear to look myself naked anymore because it’s simply beyond the gross factor. The view of my flabby body in the mirror every morning just really wakes me up instantly. I shall not live in self-denial anymore and start to make the gym as my favourite place to hang out.

By the way, last time really nobody wears Fred Perry’s polo tees. Everyone was so busily mocking about those who spend hundreds on a polo tee. And now, what the fuck, everyone is donning one. It’s not like Giordano or Bossini where the tees colour-run after the first wash. FYI, Fred Perry is using 100% pique cotton, not normal cotton. I don’t know what the difference is between the two. But it irks me about the fact that someone hated it last time and smirked about it and now guess what, that stupid mofo is seen wearing it. Yikes to you. Anyway, I’ve seen so many Fred Perry’s over the past few days, on TV shows, movies, in real life, basically everywhere. And for fuck’s sake, there was one scene in Drillbit Taylor, a guy was wearing the same exact piece as mine and he’s in his 40s. Fuck fuck fuck!!!!

I need to turn in now because the dark undereye circles are the size of my fist. I seriously hope that panda eyes will be the ‘in’ thing whereby those who don’t have them are frown upon by the society.

I start to hate somebody which I totally don’t know. Hahaha, OK resolutions are the rules. And I’m going to memorise my rules soon.