surrounded by emptiness

I’m fucking hungry right now because I had two slices of pizza for dinner. It’s so fucking irritating when not being able to voice your opinions. It’s also fucking irritating rotting at home most of the time and surfing the Internet while missing out the best parts of the outside world. Simply because there’s no company. And it’s also fucking irritating when people change somehow. And I’ve been finding you for the past 3 days. Fuck, what should I do with my life before I turn 70?

I haven’t been doing anything spectacular or productive. I hate the fact that people are somehow taking me for granted. I haven’t been doing any of my resolutions yet. Maybe one of the resolutions is to stop being a procrastinator. Anyway, I have been meeting up with old friends and catching up.  And they’re still the same. Such a disappointment. Maybe I’m still the same. The other day I was browsing the pictures and I do look different. I couldn’t remember some of the faces.

And I have been spending money like Merlion spitting out all of the saliva that its salivary glands can secrete at full efficiency. After getting a Burberry polo tee, I bought two other tees from Springtime Springfield. Nothing is wrong except that the two cheap polo tees look exactly like the ones from Fred Perry. And I’m falling in love with them right now. Hope that they don’t colour-run too fast because the Fred Perry is really amazing. The colour is as new as the first day I bought it. But Fred Perry, you’re too expensive for me. You’re even more expensive than Burberry ( sale items).

And I have decided what to buy using my first paycheck. It’s a classic BV messenger bag. I saw it in real life and it’s really beautiful and buttery smooth and I know it’s mine. But the price tag is so not me, like seriously. But I’d rather invest in something that not many people have than pay nearly the same for the common stuff that even maids are carrying while strutting down Orchard Road with aplomb every Sunday afternoon .I don’t know whether they’re carrying the fakes but the brand has become so mass-market. I hope by the time I buy my BV, it’s still hidden from the common world.

And I have been anticipating for the Iphone in excitement. But guess what, it turns out to be a full disappointment where hordes of people are queuing at counters trying to activate it. What the fuck is wrong with Steve? You’re already earning so much and now still trying to make the rest of the world ( educated one that it’s supposed to be ) suffer while waiting to use the frigging gadget. Maybe Singapore is smart after all when they decide to launch at a later day.

Dear my beloved Diafuckingary, you would never be able to imagine who I had run into the other day at TP. It’s not my alma mater but the polytechnic. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what is wrong with my interpersonal skill? I can’t even make a good impression. I can’t even make a proper conversation with strangers who are way too cool for me. For the love of God, why can’t I open my mouth rightly at that moment. I was crapping and I looked like a complete idiot. I am quite talkative being my normal self but I didn’t know why. Nevermind. If fate ever makes us.. Wow!! I can’t believe I typed that previous sentence. It’s so corny and cheesy and Taiwanese-dramatic but really I hope one day I could meet you again in my bestest dressing and behaviour. Not trying to be paranoid here, but the possibility is like 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%. People, learn from my mistakes, grab everything you can while you’re there because you may regret for life. Shit, and for the love of God, how to comb through friendster or facebook when I don’t even have your name.

And when school starts which is really around the corner, I will do all of my resolutions on a daily basis. I have been contemplating using the Little Britain mug. I always treasure my gifts because unlike every other human being, I’m seldom given one.

Sometimes you can’t really imagine how people change, the way they dress and act over the span of a few years. It’s totally amazing and really I think memories are somewhat short-lived. Moments are frozen but often neglected. I start to crap again.

Bye and hope whoever you are sleep tight and dream about me ( not in a wet way).