Dear you, if this current crisis is not resolved anytime soon, this whatever nonsense is too much to take. I’m not kidding when I say that I am on the verge of breaking down for the strangest reasons.
How I wish to keep my life free of drama and nonsense. What is exactly the fucking problem you just tell me and we will see about it. One time and for all. For the only reason that I can’t handle too much of hard feelings and it is truly heartbreaking. Yeah drama I know. But I didn’t know this could go down in the most unexpected way. I mean thick globs of doubts and apprehension are engulfing. Only God knows how I am feeling now. Why does every darn thing seem to come from and for me? I mean I keep asking why I am doing this all the time. I keep wondering if this what I truly deserve. Why do I feel like I’m gambling on a constant search for that euphoria? And it jerks me at night when knowing that the house always wins regardless how big or small your stake is. Well for me, I’m playing roulette and there’s no way getting back and the thing is, I am not sure if I can bet the last heart chip. Hey after all, we greedy mortals wouldn’t win big if we didn’t bet big, would we? Why do I feel like I keep losing and the house is happily smirking?
Someone said that success is never final and failure is never fatal. But I’d rather be dead than being in a coma. And when I do really hit the rock bottom, I hope there would be at least a king coil somewhere so Your Royal Highness’ back would be at least cushioned.

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